William Byron Got His Wisdom Teeth Pulled And No One Took His Phone Away

Lord Byron ordered his wisdom teeth out of his head on Thursday. The 21-year old William Byron got high as hell with the Lord’s blessing, of course, and it showed when he rose.

Good news for everyone his mom didn’t take his phone away from him after he came to. Here are the three tweets he posted until he either passed out or someone got smart and took the phone before he started posting crazier thoughts.

We’ve all told out moms not to wrap sounds around our head. That’s just sock knowledge 101. Socks don’t go on heads, socks go on feet. SGOF is how I remember this key aspect to life and you should too. Not sure what #balloon is but when you’re high you feel like a balloon. Told my gym teacher I was walking on clouds after I got my teeth pulled. Don’t be a hardo take the next day off.

Kimi Raikkonen when he saw that:


He’s not wrong though, ice cream is so good and honestly none of us have an answer for that. It’s frozen milk, who would have thought that’d be so good.

William Walrus don’t have the same ring as “That Jones Boy” or the “Buckeye Bullett” or “Second Place Chase” but we can workshop it.

Dale Jr. was seemingly confused as anyone would be without any context.

Twitter Dale never disappoints. William lost his phone after his third tweet and it’s probably good that he did. Remember when all of those wisdom teeth video accounts popped up on Twitter and Instagram a few years ago? Talk about a quick fad, they’re all meme accounts today probably ran but Fuck Jerry.

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