It’s OK Felipe Massa Referred To Pre-2017 F1 As “Grandmother” Driving

Does your grandmother drive slow? Of course, she does, because she’s old. Does your grandfather drive slow? Probably but in his mind, he’s Mario Andretti whipping through traffic like it’s the closing laps of the Indy 500. Except he’s going 25 in a 35 and he’s the one getting passed.

When Felipe Massa mentioned that driving the pre-2017 generation of F1 cars was a lot like driving “like a grandmother” because the tires were going off we all got what he was saying. Less grip means you have to tip-toe around the circuit. Much like a grandmother tiptoes around a corner onto her street.

Massa’s full quote is below

“When you’re just driving the car, it is quite a nice feeling for the driver in terms of the G-force and the physicality.

“I think to do a perfect lap in these cars you need to be a proper driver, not like in the past where the tyres were going away or you needed to drive like a grandmother. Now you need to drive like a driver.

“It’s similar to maybe 2006, ’07 and ’08 or even before that time. You have the car ready to accept everything so the driver really needs to risk and drive in a proper, aggressive direction.”

You’re probably wondering why this blog even exists. That’s a logical question and here is a not so logical answer.

Some people were outraged that Massa would say an old woman is a slow driver. Seriously, someone was willing to die on the hill to prove old women aren’t slow drivers when they clearly are.

There’s a reason I stay away from old lady Andrews on my street. She’s slow, has no idea what’s going on around her and is liable to bounce of 3 to 4 cars trying to reach her driveway. She’s the person Felipe was talking about.

A vast majority of grandmothers aren’t necessarily¬†sprite drivers. They tend to move at the same pace as the sloth from Zootopia. Generally holding up traffic, creating a moving chicane on the freeway and clogging up your evening commute because 5:15 pm is the perfect time to go to the grocery when you have all day.

But someone from Jalopnik was very outraged.

Listen I’m all for equal rights and closing the gender wage gap. My girlfriend makes way more than me (legally)((I don’t sell drugs but I do stuff under the table)) so technically that makes me a progressive feminist right? Because I’m totally cool with her doing that.

Getting outraged over this is crazy. You’re not crazy for thinking this outrage is insane because it is. Providing one example, your mother who is 62 doesn’t exactly provide a valuable pool of test subjects. Plus, she’s not a grandmother.¬† My mother is 54, not a grandmother and isn’t a great driver. She’s either a race car driver or an old woman there’s no in-between. Alanis’ mom is the outlier.

Felipe Massa likely thinks of a grandmother how a lot of people do. An old lady retired, drives a Buick slowly. Obviously, that’s the stereotype but it’s the commonality. Only recently have grandmothers been getting younger, stop having kids when you’re 20, idiots. In America, 54% of grandparents are younger than 65. Meaning 46% are older. Thus proving the point that most people grow up with older, aging grandparents who stink at driving.

My grandmothers are shit drivers. I cross my chest and pray to the good lord above we make it 3 miles to our destination. The constant braking, uneven speed and general disregard for curbs is proof that they aren’t great drivers. My grandfather towards the end wasn’t great either, he’d rather ride in my car because it was way faster than his Chrysler.

Would it have been okay if Felipe said: “drive like a grandfather”? Really he should just be gender neutral and say “old person” that way we don’t single out one of the sexes.

This whole thing is absurd. So much energy gets put into fake outrage for the clicks.  Just chill out.

Follow us on Twitter @ApexOff

Like Us on Facebook

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.