NASCAR Fans, Absolutely Do Not Go To The Track

NASCAR returns to action this Sunday at Darlington Raceway in front of no fans. The grounds are closed to fans as the sport attempts to return during the COVID-19 pandemic.

That hasn’t stopped a number of fans from saying they’re headed to the track this weekend to tailgate in the parking lots. Completely ignoring the fact that the parking lots will be closed and are private property. Don’t be one of these people.


“The government ain’t gonna tell me what to do.” – MAGA NASCAR fan Randy Evans from Bagdad, Alabama.

Listen, this is in the best interest of everyone. If NASCAR fans stay home to watch the race, we get to have more races, and the sooner we can get back into a race track. If people mass congregate (that means large group) then we can’t get back into tracks sooner.

We all want to be at tracks, everyone wants their normal life to come back. Tailgating in an empty parking lot with your other jorts wearing buddies isn’t going to bring normal life back soon. In all honesty, it probably pushes the finish line out further.

On top of that tracks will now have to hire more police to patrol lots to ensure there is no one trespassing. Do you really want to cost the public more resources because you’re a selfish asshole? This isn’t a Baskin Robbins, it’s not worth fighting over.

If the COVID-19 quarantine has taught us anything it’s that people are way more self-centered and selfish that we previously thought. Just stay at home, burn this thing out and we can get back to a normal life sooner.

It Ruins The Fan Experience

While there is nothing like being at the race track you have a 70″ 4K television in your living room or basement. Take a play from FOX and “Crank It Up”, grill out, have your buddies throw beers into a cooler with a strap around it, throw a fluorescent t-shirt on Billy and have him charge you $9 a beer. Just like that you’ve recreated the at-track experience. You want to take it a step further have your wife fire up the ’96 Trans-Am, run a tube from the tailpipe to your living room, and boom. Just like that, you have the smell of carbon monoxide to comfort you. Bonus points if she burns some rubber for you.

When race tracks open back up you can flock back there with your American flags while yelling “do it for Dale!” But until then, just stay at home like an obedient comrade, and let’s ride this out together.

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