Ever Wonder What The NASCAR Schedule Would Look Like If Defunct Brands Sponsored Every Race? Here It Is

In honor of Circuit City rising from the ashes of crumbling big box stores and making their triumphant return to the minds of everyone we put together a schedule made up of the forgotten about brands of NASCAR/life.

None of these sponsors are going to make a comeback in NASCAR, most are out of business or got absorbed by other companies. One was once led by a current NASCAR Truck/Xfinity series team owner. Others were sponsors of team owners that abandoned the sport as quickly as they came in. Some exited because of bankruptcy, federal regulations or investigations. And maybe a few never sponsored anything in the sport.

2019 NASCAR Cup Series Schedule

Feb. 17 Daytona 500 Presented By Blockbuster

One location is enough to be a presenting sponsor, right?

Feb. 24 Stacker 2 500 at Atlanta Motor Speedway

Didn’t these kill people? Didn’t stop Kenny Wallace from shilling for them.

Mar. 3 Ginn Resorts 400 at Las Vegas Motor Speedway

Bobby Ginn, in and out of the sport faster than his toupee in a hurricane.

Mar. 10 NationsRent 500 at Phoenix International Raceway

Art’s Rental is better. You all don’t know Art?

Mar. 17 Hollywood Video 400 at California Speedway

Buddy, if you don’t think Hollywood Video sponsoring the race at California was by design…

Mar. 24 Zloop 500 at Martinsville Speedway

What’s worse, prison or 500 laps at Martinsville with no power steering?

Mar. 31 DLP HDTV 500 at Texas Motor Speedway

Remember Hall of Fame racing?

Apr. 7 Gateway Computers 500 at Bristol Motor Speedway

Man if you saw one of those cow spotted boxes as a kid you got worked up.

Apr. 13 Saturn Owners 400 at Richmond Raceway

Roger Penske almost bought Saturn but like everything with Penske it was a massive tease.

Apr. 28 Hooters Air 500 at Talladega

Fuck. Can you imagine a Hooters Air flight to Dega?

May. 5 Alltel 400 at Dover

Poor Ryan.

May. 11 Winn-Dixie 400 at Kansas Speedway

Bro, I miss Winn-Dixie/Thriftway more than I should.

May. 18 The Winston at Charlotte Motor Speedway

BRING BACK TOBACCO SPONSORS

May. 26 New Coke 600 at Charlotte Motor Speedway

Chalk that up to a terrible idea.

Jun. 2 DC Solar 400 at Pocono

Pocono has a ton of solar panels.

Jun. 9 Toys R Us 400 at Michigan International Speedway

If Geoffrey isn’t driving the pace car with his head out the sunroof whats the point?

Jun. 23 Nature’s Bakery 350 at Sonoma Raceway

Nature & the Bay Area just felt right.

Jun. 30 Electronics Boutique 400 at Chicagoland Speedway

Before Gamestop dominated the landscape EB Games was the place to go.

Jul. 6 Long John Silvers $1 Fish Taco 400 at Daytona

$1 fish tacos definitely play in Daytona. Ever been there?

Jul. 13 Media Gallery 400 at Kentucky Speedway

Miss Media Gallery. Like a gigantic FYE.

Jul. 21 Trimspa 301 at New Hampshire

Anna Nicole Smith killed herself for Trimspa but not before helping Joey Clayton get in a car.

Jul. 28 AirTran 400 at Pocono Raceway

No one wants to go to Pocono and AirTran can help you not get there. Either through delay or crash.

Aug. 4 Radioshack at The Glen

Just seems like a good location for one.

Aug. 11 Cingular Wireless 400 at Michigan presented by Bellsouth

Get it?

Aug. 17 Extenze Night Race at Birstol

Boners and Bristol.

Sept. 1 Dodge Journey Southern 500 at Darlington

Remember when the Avenger sponsored the Darlington race? Remember when they raced them in Cup?

Sept. 8 Conseco 400 at the Brickyard

Those green Foyt cars looked good but that was about it.

Sept. 15 Citi Financial 400 at Las Vegas

Rebranded as One Main Financial to fool American’s into thinking they aren’t huge pieces of shit. Citi is back.

Sept. 21 Yellow Trucking 400 at Richmond

That Yellow Trucking scheme was always so clean.

Sept. 29 Delphi ROVAL 400 at Charlotte

Aka Ally Financial. Don’t be fooled.

Oct. 6 AOL 400 at Dover

Dover takes awhile to get interesting just like AOL took awhile to get moving.

Oct. 13 Lone Star Steakhouse & Saloon 500 at Talladega

There is only one Lone Star left, in Guam.

Oct. 20 1-800-CALL-ATT 400 at Kansas presented by Carrot Top

Remember that paint scheme? BAM Racing was weird.

Oct. 27 Circuit City 500 at Martinsville

Apparently not dead.

Nov. 3. Texaco 500 at Texas

Miss Texaco colors on race cars.

Nov. 10 Big KMart 500 at Phoenix

The internet tells me KMarts are still around but I assume only in places like Florence, SC and Bagdad, Alabama.

Nov. 17 Square D 400 at Homestead-Miami Speedway

Man, that #55 Square D car was so nice.


Have a sponsor that you think should sponsor a race? Let us know in the comments or tell us on Twitter @ApexOff and Facebook @NotApexOff

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