John Travolta Made A Movie About Dirt Racing And Folks, It’s Bad

With the rise of dirt racing across the country John Travolta saw a hole in the marketplace. Dirt trackers needed a major motion picture to showcase their blooming sport. And who better to star in that than John Travolta and the always lovely Shania Twain?

Take a look at this future cult classic and we’ll meet you on the other side.

First thing is first. “Trading Paint” makes no sense when modifieds are nearly 100% wrapped in vinyl. But let’s not nitpick.

What else could you possibly want from a movie? Father and son conflict, a championship, chance of death, dirt racing, Michael Madsen, drinking, fighting, all the things, and red-blooded American loves.

John Travolta and his movie son look nothing alike. You’re telling me Shania Twain and John Travolta made that kid? I’m calling bullshit, that birth certificate 100% has different names for the parents. Travolta going all Paul Teutul Sr. and throwing everything off his desk while yelling at his son would have been great if they were aware of the reference.

Dropping the “born to drive” transition screen in the trailer was the most predictable thing since Jimmy Bly lost out on Beau’s fiance. Just to remind you it was a movie about racing they had to put it in.

There’s a quick shot of a driver shifting a dirt modified. If there isn’t a Fast and Furious like scene of them shifting 17 times then this was all for nothing. Everyone knows dirt cars shift multiple times a lap, that’s just common knowledge.

For some reason Travolta is doing donuts in the middle of an intersection with a Mustang which is interesting because it didn’t hit a tree or a person. Not sure he knows how a Mustang works.

But listen, if you can go from playing John Gotti to playing a dirt track racer you should win some type of an award. The range in his talent is honestly second to none. How does he afford a 737 though? Can someone answer where the hell he made all his money at?

Regardless when this movie comes out we will do a comprehensive review.

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