Maybe NASCAR Should Move Martinsville, IN VIRGINA, From March On The Schedule

When NASCAR makes changes to the 2021 schedule maybe they can finally move the spring Martinsville race to a date more applicable to soft nipples than razor blade sharp ones. The sport is racing in the foothills of southern Virginia this weekend where the race time temperature on Sunday will be in the high 30’s barring an Armageddon-like moment where Bruce Willis doesn’t detonate in time.

High 30’s with a high of 40 on race day sounds absolutely miserable. Listen, we’ve all been to enough cold ass football games to not want this during race season. The reason NASCAR heads out west every year is to avoid situations like this. Everyone acts like Virginia is so far south that it’s warm and never snows. It’s cold as shit in Virginia this time of year, climate change is real people. Virginia is in the north these days.

The spring Martinsville race, STINKS. It’s the worst early season race weather wise because it’s literally always cold. I went to the spring race in 2015, woke up on race day and had to scrape ice off my windshield. Wore four layers and a beanie just to stay warm as I could see my breath like Sanka in Cool Runnings. This was not the weekend getaway I was expecting, I said to myself. Here I was thinking a nice, relaxing, mid-temperature day south of the Mason Dixon line somewhere in Dixie. I

Instead, I was sitting on an aluminum bleacher with the wind blowing past me wondering why in the fuck we’re hosting a race in Virginia at the end of March. Martinsville would be a much better-attended race if it was on a warmer date. This year it’s still in March and it’s supposed to snow on Saturday. Unless NASCAR Media pitched a Jack Frost does NASCAR movie, we shouldn’t be here at the end of March. Go to Texas, come back to Martinsville at the end of April or something.

But here we are, looking at 40-degree race on Sunday in front of half full grandstands because no one wants their nuts to stick to the bleacher. I get it, NASCAR writers won’t and they’ll talk about the glare off the empty bleachers. A doubleheader on Sunday after the truck race gets snowed out will certainly help get a few asses in the seats.

Contrary to Fox’s selective editing Denny Hamlin, in fact, did not mow his grass before the Daytona 500. I know that because it’s so cold in Virginia the grass doesn’t grow until the end of April, it’s dormant like Han Solo in that one Star Wars movie where he thaws out. Move the Martinsville race to warmer temperatures and give the people a night race.

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