THIS IS NOT A DRILL: KIMI RAIKKONEN HAS JOINED INSTAGRAM

This time I don’t know what I’m doing. #Kimi7

A post shared by #Kimi7 (@kimimatiasraikkonen) on

SOMEONE HAS KIDNAPPED KIMI AND MADE HIM CREATE AN INSTAGRAM

Our cherished national global treasure has taken the leap.

Kimi Raikkonen has joined the world of random girls being “models” and faking it to look wealthy (bow wow). Kimi is on Instagram!

Before today Kimi was doing it right. He was on social media without actually being on social media. He is constantly on his wife’s account. She is always posting pictures of him and the family, he shows up in her stories and he got to do all of this without actually being on Instagram.

While we all want him to be the weirdly hysterical guy that shows up in press conferences he’ll probably be a little more reserved. Or he’ll dive straight in and his stories will be an electric factory. There is really no middle ground in this scenario.

Either way, he’ll be far more entertaining than Hamilton on Instagram and will almost certainly never refer to anyone on his story as “team” or “hey guys.” Kimi will just start mumbling and if you can’t understand it that’s on you. Very Bill Belichick-esque when he speaks.

Things We Need To See On Kimi’s Instagram

  • Kimi’s thoughts on things. Just want him to talk about daily things he does because Kimi in traffic seems hilarious. Kimi at the grocery, hilarious. Kimi having to interact with other dads at his kid’s school, hilarious.
  • Kimi playing badminton with Sebastian.
  • Kimi having a conversation with someone else in Finland. Ehhh, meh, uh, bwoah, phenomenal conversationalist.
  • What life in the paddock is like for Kimi
  • Eating ice cream
  • Thoughts on geopolitics which really is just mumbling and suddenly you hear a name and you’re back in but have no clue.
  • Behind the scenes at his race shop for Ice One Racing. Kimi as a boss has to be wildly entertaining.
  • Kimi playing basketball because his house has a basketball court and he’s like 5’5.
  • Kimi’s thoughts on the podium at Monaco 2017.
  • Kimi watching old highlights of himself.

We really just need to see more of Kimi but part of me is torn on that. We love Kimi because he’s quiet and mysterious. He isn’t in the spotlight all the time and when he does talk you’re left looking at the TV with a wtf look on your face but think it’s hilarious. The last thing we need is for Kimi to become self-aware.

Follow him but don’t tell him he’s funny. We have to save Kimi for as long as we can.

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