Does This Proposed F1 Track From 2009 Look Like A Butt Plug?

Back in the 2000’s every country wanted a Formula One race. Butt stuff wasn’t really a thing yet and Herman Tilke was running wild with track designs. There were plans to build the above track close to Cancun, Mexico. The spring break destination for every pasty white college kid in America.

To Tilke’s credit, this is certainly his most interesting design. A fair amount of runoff, one long straight, lots of short straights that won’t set up passing, a lot like every one of his designs. The double crossover and the NASCAR oval like set up are certainly not typical Tilke designs. It’s a relatively interesting design but is he trying to tell us something with this design?

Was There A Secret Meaning Behind The Track Design?

Could Herman be telling us something? Was he going through a butt stuff phase during the design of this? Was he sitting at his desk looking at a butt plug and though, if you could fold this in half the outline would make a great track design.

Maybe he was doing some sexual exploring in the 2000’s. Nothing wrong with that, he was just ahead of the trend. Maybe that means any track he builds in 2024 is actually going to be a competitive race track. Herman works in decades, not days like you and me he’s a long-term¬†planner. He’s living his best life 15 years ahead of us.

Let’s not forget Herman is also German. Ever seen German porn? That’s some of the most diabolical shit you’ll see this side of Max Mosley. Butt plugs might just a be an every night occurrence¬†for him. Just a Tuesday in April, butt plug is in play. You can’t discount his nationality in our quest to determine how this track got designed.

Maybe he just got high on mushrooms, it kind of looks like a mushroom. He could just be a big fan of tunnels. Herman thought “I’ll design Monza on top of Abu Dhabi. The branding on that could have been spectacular! “Old meets new” that kind of shit. We’d have 1963 Monza footage superimposed with modern day F1 cars.

But nevertheless, the track didn’t get built. Likely because Mexico didn’t have the money, more likely they aren’t into butt stuff. Strictly vaginal with no protection. I didn’t wake up this morning thinking I’d be writing about a race track shaped like a butt plug but here we are. I didn’t think Matt Lauer was going to get fired either.

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