Why Would Anyone Ask Roger Penske If He’d Run Danica?

Danica Patrick announced Friday in Homestead she would be running only the Daytona 500 and the Indianapolis 500 in 2018. As soon as she said that the interwebs lit on fire. It looked like the upside down over here. Ash flying everywhere, fire, rumors running amock like Demogorgons.

Someone, I think the rain man of NASCAR media asked Roger Penske if he would be running Danica at Indy in 2018. That has to be the absolute worst question in the history of questions. The only thing dumber than that would be asking Formula E if they love hairpin corners. Or if Greg Biffle loves the #69.

Roger Penske Won’t Field An IndyCar For Danica

Of course not.

HE WON’T EVEN FIELD A CAR FOR TWO-TIME INDY 500 WINNER JUAN PABLO MONTOYA.

You think he’s going to field a car for Danica Patrick? Not a chance. Roger doesn’t care about the media hype, he isn’t a man that likes to dabble in anything outside of the norm. Both of his kids were conceived in the missionary position before they started pissing all over people in Nantucket.

If Penske won’t even run Montoya who gives them one of the best chances to win they certainly won’t run a driver who has never won before. Penske doesn’t do one-offs with big-name drivers for the most part. Helio will be their one-off car this year as he tries to win his 4th. He did it in 2013 with AJ Allmendinger has he was exiled from NASCAR for an Adderall. Who hasn’t taken an Adderall? Or 100 in a semester?

Danica is pretty damn good at the speedway too. A 3rd place finish in 2009 is her best in the Indy 500 and a performance that could be replicated in 2018. It won’t be with Penske though.

Penske also won’t be running Danica in the Daytona 500. They’re expanding to three cars in 2018, way too thin to handle a 4th one-off car. I’m sure Tim Cindric could layout all the excuses in a monotone boring flow chart if we really wanted.

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